Dear Eli and Landon,

These past few weeks, as your birthday has been approaching, I have done a lot of reflecting on and remembering of the last year of our lives. I think about the shock and excitement and fear we felt when we learned of your very existence. I think of the worry and hours spent in prayer when we thought you were in trouble. I think of the heartache we felt as we dealt with our reality hundreds of miles apart. I think of the excitement and happiness we felt as we prepared for your arrival. I think of the thousands of people that prayed for us and it humbles me with gratitude.

And then I think about this very night one year ago. I laid in the hospital bed waiting for the night to pass, knowing of your arrival in the morning. I think of the next morning how I sobbed and sobbed in fear of the unknown and how your dad and I prayed together that you would be okay.

And then I remember your cries as you entered the world and how I sobbed even harder because if you could cry, that meant you could breathe and I've never been so relieved. I barely got to lay eyes on you as they whisked you away to the NICU...our home for the next 26 days. I remember leaving the hospital in tears most nights because I couldn't stand to be away from you.

But most of all, I remember the joy I felt when we finally got to bring you home. We were together as a family at last and I can't remember a time I have ever been happier. There is a peace and contentment that I cannot explain that comes from the rise and fall of your chest on mine.

I almost always end up in tears when I think of the rough start we had. It is a flood of emotions that just overwhelms me. I think of you both now and the indescribable blessings you bring to our lives and it is a sobering thought to think that you might not have been. I just can't imagine life without you. I love you so deeply it hurts.

"Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto Him be glory..." - Ephesians 3:20-21

God has certainly blessed us beyond our imagining and we give Him glory for the way he has worked in our lives.

Thank you for the immense joy you bring to us every single day. Happy birthday my sweet boys.

All my love,
Momma