Sad Night

I just got home from the grocery store. Don't worry...I'm not going to tell you about any meltdowns or show you pictures of what I got. But something did happen that is heavy on my heart.

I just needed a few things, but I was by myself, so I was leisurely walking down the aisles. I noticed a young girl in one of the aisles and thought to myself, "I wonder if she knows she looks pregnant in that shirt." I know...that's not nice and I'm way too critical. I'm just being honest here.

So I finish my shopping and get in line and notice that same girl coming up behind me. The two cashiers immediately recognize her and say, "girl, we heard you're having twins.That is crazy!"

Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? I got a knot in my stomach and tried not to pay too much attention, but had to look at her one more time. Maybe I was wrong about how young she was. Nope...still a very obviously young girl. I mentioned to her that I had twins and what a blessing they were. She asked if they were a handful and I replied, "Oh, yes! But they are a lot of fun, too." She'll know all about it soon enough.

But she won't know about it like I do. She won't know about it within the realm of a great marriage. She won't know about it with a very supportive husband. She won't know about it with the privilege of staying home with her babies. (I assume all of these things of course).

She'll know about it as she finishes high school, as she takes drivers education, as she grows up way too fast, and as she does it alone.

Her experience will most likely be night and day from mine: in a much harder, much lonlier, much more overwhelming way. I just can't imagine...she is really only a child herself.

I think about the frustration and exhaustion that I feel at times. I think about the times I have thought to myself, "Nobody deserves two babies at the same time....this is just too much for anyone to handle."  And I think about how toddlers always do what you don't want them to and never do what you do want them to. And I think about the messes, the fits, the screaming, the crying, the whining, the biting, the never ending workload.

But much, much more often than those feelings above, I look at my children in awe and think to myself, "Nobody deserves two babies at the same time...this is just too great of a blessing." And I joyfully watch them laugh and play and discover and learn everyday. And I just get lost in their hugs and kisses and cuddles and love.

I know she'll feel the frustration and exhaustion. I just hope she can feel the joy and the awe as well.

So tonight, I pray for her and for those sweet babies.