I had decided last week, even before my appointment, that I had to deal with everything a little better. I had allowed myself one week to pretty much cry nonstop, but I was done. I don't want to lose my happiness and joy and I don't want my kids and husband to have to suffer because of it.
It only helped to get some encouraging news.
I still worry and pray continually for our little girl, but I'm much more at peace now.
That's the thing about attitudes. Sometimes you can't wait until you feel better...you have to decide to have a different mindset. What a difference that can make!
There's plenty to be happy about. It's my favorite time of the year and I know this Christmas will be the most fun yet with Eli and Landon. I love to see the excitement in their eyes with every little detail they notice: the tree, the presents, the decorations, the cookies...they are just soaking it all in with all the excitement and wonder that two year olds have.
And I really do love being pregnant. I love to read about her development each week and I love how I'm finally getting a little bit of a belly and I don't just look like I have a "muffin-top" hanging over my pants. What I love most of all is feeling her move. She is quite active and I love to imagine that she is in there tapping out some secret message in Morse code, intended just for me. She's probably telling me what a cool mom I'll be and how she can't wait to meet me.
What? You don't think that's what is happening?
Okay...well, at least it's a constant, gentle reminder that she is there and she's growing. That makes me just as happy.
We have finally decided on a name for our little girl: Harper Lynn Grigsby
This is one of the first names we talked about...before we even knew she was a girl. I've loved it the whole time, but since we've been calling her by name for the last few days and it is officially her name now...I love it even more.
I am 21 weeks pregnant right now, so we're more than half-way there. I was looking back at our calendar at all of the things that Harper and I have done together. She has played in a church softball game (I didn't know I was pregnant), flown in an airplane (and subsequently almost crashed), been all over the state of Texas, watched the Aggies beat OU at her first Aggie football game, gone on family vacations, been in a wedding, celebrated her brothers' birthday and Thanksgiving, and gotten her picture taken a WHOLE lot the past few weeks. That's kind of a lot for someone that's only been around about 21 weeks.
Eli and Landon have been sick the last few days. We are experiencing our first ear infection and it's been a lot of no fun. High temps, coughing, congestion, sleepless nights, antibiotics, tylenol, vaporizers, and very sad babies has been what we're about lately. I think Landon's antibiotic is finally working and he's on the mend. Unfortunately, Eli is just now starting. One thing about sick babies is how they love to cuddle. I could hold and rock those boys all day and night when they don't feel good...and that's just what we've been doing.
So, that's what is going on around here. I'm trying to get back to people who have emailed me, but we've been out of town a little the last few days and dealing with sick boys is pretty consuming. But thank you for your emails, comments, and texts...they have been incredibly encouraging to me and I appreciate them so much.