How?

How can something so tiny make my heart so full?

 How could I possibly think this baby is even sweeter than her brothers were. (But I do...don't tell them)

 How can she already know that she wants to be a Texas Aggie? (She asked me put this hat on her)

How can she look so perfect on the outside when she is so sick on the inside?

How can she not look like Eli and Landon? I guess when you have identical twins first, you think all your kids should look the same. Someone had to kindly inform me that we aren't cloning them here. Hmm...thanks. 

How could we not even know something was missing, but know now that Harper completes our family in the most perfect way. (For now...according to Dustin)

How could she be more blessed than to have the two best big brothers in the world?

And how could I possibly be more blessed? I'm just pretty sure I couldn't.

Harper Update

This is going to be short and sweet...Harper has started getting her days and nights mixed up and was up until 3:30 in the morning. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal if I didn't have to be up at 5:30 to get ready for her doctor's appointment. Unfortunately, she's slept all day today, so I'm afraid we're in for another long night. I know this period of time is fleeting and I actually enjoy the quiet hours of the night when it's just me and Harper hanging out. It's just the next day with two toddlers that kills me. Thankfully, Eli and Landon still take a good nap in the afternoon, so I have that to look forward to each day! Now that we've got a pretty good handle on things with Harper, Eli and Landon are staying home full-time until time for surgery. It's wonderful to have them here all the time, but it certainly adds to the exhaustion. 

Anyway...on to Harper. There isn't much to report. Even though she's not doing as well, she's still not doing bad enough to need surgery. She gained 5 ounces this week putting her up to 7 pounds, 10 ounces. We are very thankful for more growth! He did and echo cardiogram and an EKG and there have been no changes to her heart, which is another good thing.  We will continue to let her grow as long as possible.

So we continue to wait. The waiting and the unknown are not easy things to deal with, but we just take it a day at a time, knowing that God's timing is perfect. This extra time has allowed Harper to get much bigger and that will be a great advantage when it comes time for surgery.

Our weekly trips to Lubbock take a lot of preparation. I have a checklist of everything we need and I try to gather as much as possible the night before, but so much of it we use throughout the night during her feedings, so it must wait until morning. The first two trips were a little hectic feeling, but I really have gotten the hang of it and we do pretty well now. I have also had the help of some incredible ladies the last few weeks. I never have to worry about going alone because there are so many sweet friends that are willing to go with me to help. A huge thank you to Karen, D'Ann, and Keitha who have been a blessing to me and to Harper.

Here is most of what it takes for a trip to Lubbock (just straight there and straight back).

There isn't a week that goes by that I don't think about our decision to leave the hospital and how thankful I am that things worked out to allow us this time at home. I, no doubt, would be completely crazy right now if I was still away from Dustin, Eli, and Landon and trying to keep up the schedule that I was keeping while in Lubbock. Having Harper at home has been such a huge blessing.

I have some really sweet pictures of Harper (with no tubes or wires) that I hope to share sometime this week....we'll see :)

Thank you for checking on us!

Our Weekend In Pictures

For no particular reason other than just spending it together, we had such a great weekend. Dustin wasn't busy at work on Friday, so he was around the house throughout the day, which is always a treat.

Harper got a new swing. And not just any swing...it's like the Cadillac of swings. We love this thing!

We finally went and got some flowers to plant in the front yard. Now our house only looks half-way abandoned. Oh well...just because you can't fix everything at once doesn't mean you shouldn't do what you can, right? It makes me feel so much better pulling in our driveway when I see flowers instead of weeds.

 Harper helped out by sitting in her bouncer and overseeing the project.

We went on a nice long walk Saturday night. It's so nice to get out of the house and do something together. And I love our new stroller...all three kids can fit on it (for now at least) and it's not even that huge.

Along with those things we ate good meals, I gave all three boys haircuts (they're not very good, but they were free), Dustin took the boys to worship Sunday morning and I took them Sunday night, we played in the sprinklers, we took naps, and we all piled into one of the boys' beds to read books and tell stories at night.

For most of Harper's life, I've just been trying to get by and been living day-by-day anticipating when this surgery will be. I want the surgery to be behind us and over with so badly that I feel sometimes I am wishing her life away. I have to remind myself that even though surgery is looming, it's no reason to not cherish the moments I have now.

But this weekend...well, I didn't even have to remind myself. I guess I've almost gotten used to this new "normal" for us and I'm able to love our life just as it is right now.

We take Harper back to the doctor on Tuesday. There have been very noticeable changes in her breathing this week and she has been more sweaty than before, both of which are signs that her heart is struggling to keep up. Every day is one day closer to her surgery. I'm terrified of it, but so ready for my sweet baby to be "fixed."

I will post an update on Harper sometime Tuesday after we see Dr. Robinson.

Hope you all had a blessed weekend as well!

6 Weeks!

Harper is six weeks old today. I've been dreading this day for several weeks now...ever since Dr. Robinson told us that surgery would probably be between 6 and 8 weeks of life. I don't know what I expected, but when we got up this morning, Harper was exactly like she was yesterday morning...just fine still. Imagine that.

Harper had two appointments today and the short story is this: she's still doing great and we get to stay home another week. I was expecting great weight gain like last week and was a little disappointed that she only gained 3 ounces. 3 ounces isn't a lot, but it's still growth, so I'm thankful for that. After hearing that the hole in Harper's heart seemed to be getting bigger, I was quite discouraged last week, but I got clarification on that today. The hole is only getting bigger as her heart gets bigger. It is still proportionally the same size as it has been. This was a huge relief.

So we wait a little longer and let this sweet girl grow as much as possible.

Eli and Landon have spent Thursday - Monday at home the past two weeks. We meet Neva on Monday evenings and they stay with her for a couple days while we go to the doctor and then recover the next day (these trips to Lubbock are kind of hard on me and Harper.)

Eli and Landon are more fun than ever these days. The stuff they come up with on their own is just hysterical. They have grown up so much the past few months and having a newborn around makes it even more obvious. We miss them SO much when they're gone. I mean...who wouldn't miss this guy:



Grammy came to see us this past weekend and it was wonderful to have her here! My mom has more energy than anyone I've ever known. She never stops working...unless she's rocking sweet Harper or cuddling with the boys on the couch. We tried to take a picture of mom with Eli, Landon, and Harper. I'll just let you see for yourself how that went...

In the end we got one decent one :)

Rain, Rain, Come and Stay!

We finally got some rain here in west Texas. We were so thankful...even if it only lasted a few minutes. It has been such a long time since we've had rain that Eli and Landon almost didn't know what it was. They sure had fun playing in it though!

(Yes, I know my children look ridiculous)