Monday, October 22, 2012

Gotta Start Somewhere.

So…It’s been a while. Yes, I know. And I hate that. Not because I think there is anyone out there (besides my mom) who even visits this little blog anymore, but because this is the place where I store our memories. The place I can record funny things my kids say because I forget them so very quickly. The place that I can come and reflect on the different joys and despairs we’ve faced and remind myself how faithful and merciful God is.

So I’m going to try again. Emphasis on try. Because I’m a busy person. It's not that I think I’m any busier than anyone else, but I may just be a little less equipped to handle it with the grace that others do. (cough, cough, Page). I happen to think my job is reallly important and I finally feel like I’ve got a handle on things for the first time since Harper arrived. (Can I just say that three kids in two and a half years very well could be too many, too quickly? Just maybe.)

So settle in because we have a LOT to catch up on. But because I know there are so many that have a special interest in my little Harper, let me start off by saying that she is doing really well right now. It could change any minute, but for the moment, we are basking in the sunlight – the wonderfulness that is a normal family not anticipating major surgery, or tube-feeding, or weekly doctor trips, or clouds of uncertainty. And this respite has been so terribly refreshing. And even though we have more to face, our hearts and souls needed this time to recharge and we're so thankful for it.

Shall we revisit summer? Because it went completely undocumented here. Let’s go all the way back to June. The month of June has always, and will always, be known for camp. June and Camp are about as inseparable as two things could possible get. Camp is 10 days long, in the middle of the West Texas dessert, with no cell phone signal, wi-fi, or hot water. Sounds fun, right? Well, it used to be. It was a ton of fun when Dustin and I were engaged/just married, we were both counselors, and only had ourselves to worry about. Now…not so much. I have high hopes that camp will be fun again one day, but at this particular stage of my life, camp and fun are mutually exclusive. This year was especially hard for some reason and I think it mostly had to do with Harper. Harper was just two months out from surgery, wasn’t growing, her doctors weren’t crazy about her being in the heat, she wouldn’t eat anything, and basically just cried a lot. So, we hung out by ourselves in the house we stayed at. In addition to that, we had seen the cardiologist the week before camp and hadn’t gotten a very good report. We all know how my emotional state is directly related to the words that come out of Dr. Robinson’s mouth. I was pretty much an emotional ticking time bomb. This one week of the year is the only time we see so many people and if you’ll remember, Harper had her first heart surgery the previous June, so of course almost everyone asked about her. I know people mean well and they have blessed us so much by praying for Harper, but having the same conversation over and over again about something I hadn’t quite come to terms with was really hard. By day three, I was completely emotionally overwhelmed, tired of talking about Harper’s heart, and miserable.

We ended up packing our kids up and enough clothes for a couple days and took off to San Antonio. It was exactly what we needed. We hadn’t had much fun the past year. Every day Dustin took off from work was spent at the hospital. We hadn’t done a single thing as a family. So we went to Sea World, watched movies, ate out, swam at the hotel, and just escaped reality for a few days. We came back to camp with a completely different attitude and we enjoyed the last few days of playing, singing, learning, and fellowship.

These are a few pictures from the workdays at camp the weekends leading up to camp.

The Atlantis ride at Sea World was my boys' first thrill ride. There weren't any lines, so they got to stay on and ride four times in a row. Those boys aren't scared of anything.

Enjoying the Sesame Street show.

Our one regret was not renting a double stroller for the boys. We had one for Harper, but Dustin ended up carrying the boys around most of the day. He was quite sore the day after!

I lost my camera right before camp, so these are just two pictures that a friend sent me. It's so special to see Eli and Landon want to lead singing and have the courage to go up there and try (together...ha!)

    And here's a picture of Harper from right around that time.


Crystal said...

So glad you are back. I have missed you and your blog. There are people other than your mom who read your post.

Chey-Anne Smart said...

I read it, too! I have checked once per week since May-so I was pleasantly surprised tonight! Yay! I got to see Dustin and Harper for a minute at Homecoming. I know it's so hard to find time to blog! So glad to hear you guys are doing well. Precious, precious babies! Hope to keep seeing your posts-do you feel the pressure?!? LOL!!!

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