Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Funny stories

Here are the latest "Eli and Landon Stories" for your enjoyment:

"Really Amazing Trick"
 While I was somewhere else in the house, Eli and Landon screamed for me to come into the bathroom to see their "really amazing trick" (these were their exact words.) I was, of course, immediately nervous and went in there, prepared for just about anything.

I found this:
So naturally, I took a picture and posted it on all the appropriate social networking sites. They were quite pleased with themselves...until they couldn't get down on their own. Eva's comment was, "that's really funny until they try to do it soaking wet and bust their heads open." That might be a good point.

"Landon Rebukes With Scripture"
I've been doing some simple scripture memory work every week with the boys. I've been quite surprised at their little minds and the amount of things they can remember. Well, one very long and tiring day in Lubbock with all three kids by myself and several instances of discipline with the same offender, I lost my cool in a moment of frustration and I yelled at Landon. (No judging happens.) As soon as the harsh words came out of my mouth, Landon says, "MOM, remember? Do unto others as you would have them do to you?!" I probably should have been humbled by him, but instead, it pretty much fueled my anger. Needless to say, "Children obey your parents, in the Lord, for this is right" will be the next verse on our list.

"Landon's Hand Has A Mind Of It's Own"
If you're a parent, you know that kids have distinct cries. So, when I hear Harper's "I have just suffered an injustice" cry, I immediately start interrogating the suspects. I was in the kitchen and I hear Harper start wailing, so I go in the living room to find Harper and Landon standing there. I asked, "Landon, what happened to Harper?" He pursed his lips, furrowed his eyebrows and looked around as he said, "hmmmm, let me see here." (Long pause) "She got hit," he said. I naturally asked who Harper "got hit" by. Landon raised his right hand, looked over at it, and matter-of-factually said, "this." I almost lost it right there. His whole "I think I'm going to outsmart mom by acting like my hand hit Harper and I had nothing to do with it" approach just seemed really comical. We had a little talk about how his hand is part of him and HE is responsible for what it does, so he better get it under control fast.

"Peter Pan Can Fly"
Eli and Landon have reallllly been into Peter Pan for about the last six months. What's funny is that they had never seen the movie, but we have the book and they want to read it every.single.night. It's super long, so we just paraphrase most of it. Combine their love for Peter Pan with their love of pretending and sometimes I just don't know if they can tell reality from fiction. They truly believe they ARE Peter Pan. So, one day, I hear a big thud, a moment of silence, and then the ridiculous wailing ensued. Of course, I rush in there to find Eli with a big goose egg on his head. He had stood on the end of the bed and jumped off and landed head first...trying to fly. All he kept saying over and over while I rocked him was, "But, Mom, Peter Pan can fly!" I could not have been less surprised by this whole situation. My children take make believe to a whole new level. 

"The Roller Coaster"
We took a little trip to Sea World back in June and ever since then, Eli and Landon, continue to act like car rides are roller coaster rides. Again, with the imagination...there is never a dull moment. And Eli and Landon have plenty of imagination. I thought this would eventually get old and die down, but this picture is just from a couple of weeks ago.

"Harper Loves Undies"
Harper recently went through a stage (that she is just about out of, thank goodness) where she LOVED underwear. It didn't matter who it belonged to or if it was dirty or clean. In fact, it seemed she preferred dirty because they tend to be more accessible around here. She would dig through hampers, check the bathroom floors, or find them in the laundry room. I mean, she had a serious fetish people. Mostly, this just completely grossed me out. No explanation needed there. Here is a picture of her with two pairs of Eli and Landon's dirty underwear layered on over her pajamas. Kids are so weird. Or maybe just mine are.

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