Today has been a good day. This time around has been so much different than the last. I guess knowing what to expect helps quite a bit. I'm proud to say that I was a lot less hysterical before, during, and after delivery than I was with Eli and Landon's birth. (I'm not saying that I handled myself well...just a little better than last time).
I've also had a much easier recovery than last time, although I've been in quite a bit of pain this evening. Overall, I have felt great and have been able to be up and around all day.
Harper is doing great. She is weighed every night in the NICU and she is down to 5 pounds, 0.8 ounces, so she has lost a little bit, but that is to be expected. She is having a little trouble eating, but is improving at each feeding. Tomorrow will be a big day for us. Harper will have another echo cardiagram to confirm her diagnosis and determine a plan of action. We have no idea when they'll be by to do this or if/when we will be able to discuss the results with the cardiologist tomorrow or Friday. They don't make appointments in the NICU...the doctors just come by when they can. We are of course anxious to find out a plan for our sweet girl.
Speaking of Harper... I just cannot tell you how precious she is. She has the sweetest disposition and these big eyes and she is so petite and that newborn smell. Oh my.
It is nothing short of heartbreaking to walk out of that NICU and leave her there. It's just not natural to have a stranger tell you how often and how long you can hold your baby. It's sad to not be able to pick your baby up without getting tangled up in 15 different cords and wires. It's just hard and knowing what to expect hasn't made this part of it any easier. I just want to scoop her up and take her home. I want her to meet her big brothers and I want to sit and hold her all day and I want to be able to nurse her and I want to get up with her all night long. I have SO much to be thankful for, but I'm just human (and a hormonal mom at that) and I'm dealing with the disappointment and frustration as well.
I have so much more to write, but I am so beyond exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open, so I'll leave you with a few pictures from today. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your continued love, support, and prayers.